Monday, May 12, 2008

Knowing Me, Knowing You

We're getting our kitchen remodeled. Remodeled probably doesn't quite cover what will be done, as a staircase will be removed/moved, everything will get gutted to stud, floor will be replaced, firebox raised, etc., etc., ad nauseum, bank account groans. We have a lovely architect whom I trust completely and we got her via friends who also just "remodeled" (re: completely obliterated and then reconstructed) their kitchen. I spoke with the wife-side of these friends Friday night and she informed me that our architect has a tic: when she agrees with you, she looks at you right through her glasses. When she disagrees with you, she looks at you over her glasses.

Fascinating! Of course I wish I had known this PRIOR to Friday's three-hour session which I madly replayed in my head, trying to remember how exactly she reacted when I proposed certain things. I'm now wondering if I'm going to be able to keep a straight face the next time we meet: will I confirm this tic by stating something wild ("you know when you said you thought this wall would look great in a different color? I was thinking we could pay homage to our favorite sports teams?") or something more mundane ("So -- mixing concrete with shards of antique glass -- I think it goes!").

How I'll keep from giggling I just don't know.

And then, this morning, Mr. ABF was tinkering around on my laptop when I really needed to get a post up, so I grabbed a coffee-table publication (trying to be as vague as possible to spare the innocent) and started leafing through and stumbled upon an article which referred to a local doctor -- with the same last name as one of our Children's point people. So I off-handedly asked Mr. ABF if he thought they might be related, and he of course plugged things into the google and we found . . . . the wedding notice of our Children's point person. You know, the personal ones that they run in a certain big time newspaper? Turns out he's married to someone from an important family (also very interesting), but the hilarity here is that he a) wooed this woman away from a lover with whom she was living with (GO DOCTOR! GO DOCTOR! IT'S YOUR BIRTHDAY!), and b) did so with a mushy letter which they quoted.

Every time I think of this story today, I am brought almost to the point of laughing out loud, it is so funny to know something this personal about someone with whom I have a completely different relationship. I have no idea whether we'll have occasion to talk to any of the Children's people any more (although should we get pregnant -- stop laughing -- and deliver a baby -- I hear you laughing -- they'll all be present in the room), but if I see or even talk to this person again, it will take every fiber of my being not to bust out in giggles or make some reference to the letter.

Which brings me around to today's subject: Do you know something about someone -- something they don't know that you know? Something that makes things awkward? funny? entertaining? (painful?) And NO FAIR telling me things about me. It will only serve to freak me out how much you've googled and I'm tired and can't deal with that stress. Please.

21 comments:

Hennifer said...

I can't think of some really great examples at the moment but certainly my answer to this question is YES. I remember names, faces and weird facts often with one or two quick meetings.

I was at a restaurant with some coworkers and our waitress was someone I knew from junior high. I told the group, I know her, her name is Angie, we had 7th grade life science together and she used to watch Twin Peaks. Now that freaked them out a bit and surely would have freaked her too.

However I'm not a stalker. I promise. It hardly ever occurs to me to google people and even if it did I'm bad at it and lazy. If it isn't in the first few hits well then...

Coggy said...

I'm a collector of info I know about people that they don't know I know. Now I sound like a freaking stalker but I'm not. Knowledge is power so they say and while I've never used any of this info or am never likely to, somehow I just like to know these things. I wish I could think of a juicy story now, but I kind of need to have the people in front of me to remind me.

I'm just stuck as to why this doctor would want this sort of info about himself to be public knowledge. I'm assuming he has some control or input into this article/announcement about him and his beloved. People are weird, too many have no mute button.

Mrs. Spit said...

One of the things that I do in my "spare" time is to teach at something called John School, or more properly the Prostitution Offeder Program. In the city in which I live, if you get arrested for picking up a prostitute, and it's your first offense, you can opt to take this course.

So, if you are me, you get up to speak at your portion of the day, and you look out on to the crowd, and you see someone from work, that you know. . .

Ugh. knowledge I could have done without, especially as I"m bound by confidentiality.

MsPrufrock said...

Oh, how I laughed at the "Go doctor, it's your birthday" line...

Er, this is going to make me sound really strange, but a guy who works as a technician in my building is a cage fighting referee. I only know this because I see him every time there is a cage fighting event, as my husband watches it. I feel weird seeing this guy in the corridors, as he surely has no idea that I'm walking past him thinking, "cage fighting, cage fighting".

Newt said...

I'm always the last to know everything.

But best of luck with the remodel. I hope you get the over-glasses look, and I hope it is awesome.

Lisa b said...

I've been hanging around our children's hospital for so long I actually know some docs and nurses hate each other and some other insider politics. Now there's some info I could have lived without.

I wish I was clever enough to google you up.

STE said...

Like Newt, I'm usually the last to know, too. Although, I'll tell you what I find weird: My RE is kind of a local here. He is quoted in the paper once or twice a year, nominated for various awards and I just saw that he is lending his face to a sort of "pride in our local schools" campaign.

Also in his office are articles that were written about him in recent years (okay in the last 10 or so) about his pioneering work in the field of infertility (been doing IVF since 1986, started 2 of the major clinics in the area). One of the article is sort of a profile of him with his wife, talking about their first kid, her medical problems and how they adopted their second kid. It almost feels too personal.

Sometimes it feels weird, like I feel like I know too much, but considering everything he knows about me and C, I guess it's only fair. I don't know.

Dayna said...

I am bad at Googling people, but now I'm tempted to check out our local paper to see if I can spot the announcement.

Nah, I've never Googled you, although I've often wondered about you. (Like, not in a creepy way.)

Tash said...

Mrs. Spit, that is rich. Oh, the stories you could tell.

Coggy, here's the thing: he's the most wonderful earnest young attractive guy -- modest and heartfelt. He's gotta know this thing is googleable.

Dayna, the announcement was in an archive of the other big city paper (wink) and from years ago. you'd need his name. sorry.

Carry on!

k@lakly said...

I don't know why your post made me thing of this story but it's good for a giggle so here goes: Back in my "Nanny" days, think Nanny Diaries, I was very close to the only child I cared for who was 4 or 5 at the time this happened. His dad was a very wealthy, well respected banker. One day when I was "nannying" my little dude told me that his daddy had come home early that day and then had to go back to work because while he was at work that morning he(dad) had thought he had to fart(sorry) and instead had 'made a poopy in his pants' so he had to come home and change.
I just about died laughing and never again could take him as seriously as he thought I should.
One day I would love to tell him this but I know it will never happen. Damn it.
Good luck with the redo!!

G said...

OMG K@l, that is hiliarious!

I am in the stalker club too. But, it's *my job* so stop judging me! You see, I am tasked with the job of survellience over email. Now, I have had TONS of meetings telling the entire company that company email is NOT personal email. I have gone so far as to pop off with, "So don't put anything over email that would make me not able to look you in the eye in the hallway." Still, people don't get it. So I have many a story.

But right now, only one sticks out: A guy and his new wife were rehashing an arguement they had the night before. He likes it when she wears her hair down, she doesn't like to always have to "do" her hair. Yes, I kid you not. This went on and on. Then he said that they would have more than just Sunday sex if she would spend more time on herself (gasp!). Ouch. I still don't look at him the same, especially since his wife is absolutely gorgeous, young, with just natural, get out of bed and looks 100% better than me on my best day.

Enjoy the remodel (can you enjoy those things?) I want before/during and after pix, kk thx bye.

G said...

*edit - wait, I was being nice, but not honest. She wishes she looked better than me. I r Hawt

Laurie said...

My (now ex) husband and I were going for marriage counseling at a large non-profit, non-denominational counseling center. Through the powers of google-fu, I discovered that our counselor was a pastor of a rather evangelical/fundemental Christian church for his day job (we knew he was interning as part of his PhD in couples/family counseling). It kind of weirded me out at first, but he never made religion an issue at all. That impressed me more about his character and dedication to his job than any Christian propaganda could have ever done.

Beruriah said...

Oh you mean like info that you're a major contributor to La.r.ou.che for president?

About the most exciting thing I know is that a friend of my sister's is cheating on her jerk husband with a man 10 years younger than her.

Antigone said...

Check your proxy settings....

Muahahahahhahaaha.

(just kidding)

ms. G said...

Wow. I think I am going to google my doctor now. I was told something about my sister in law, whom I really like that is not good, and is actually, quite terrible. To the point where I am not sure it is even true, except that I can't think why the person who told me would lie. The story about her isn't the part that makes me feel uncomfortable around her. It is the fact that the person sharing the story, my sister in law thinks is a friend. And a part of me really, really wants to tell sil that she isn't.

CDE said...

For shits and giggles, I plugged our zip code into some kind of swinger/polyamory directory I found on a forum I sometimes read.

It brought up one of my former students.

>shudder<

niobe said...

My job basically involves finding out stuff about people. They don't know that I know it....until I tell them. Bwahahaha!!!!!

Julia said...

I know a few things, but never found out in the fun and exciting google way.
Some stories in the comments, though, them's great stuff!

c. said...

I found out from watching a t.v. show that my wacky Grade 7 teacher is a recovering wife-beater. He went on some show about his recovery. One would assume that he must know that a lot of people know this about him because of the reach t.v. can have. It's not like I run into him anymore though and I'm not sure I could look at him quite the same either. It's the only thing I know about anyone. Now if you give me your full name I can google you with much better results :o)

Good luck with the kitchen re-vamp. Hope you'll post pics!

Holli said...

My very close friend always talks about how her ex-husband is a total ass. Well, one day I happened to find out that (suprise) the reason he was so mean to her was because he literlly caught her in bed with his brother! (The brother is the one who told me) Yikes. I have never looked at her the same since that, and it drives me nuts when she bitches about other people cheating. It's like she forgot or something.

Oh, and once when I was about 16 I found a dirty letter my mom wrote to my step-dad. Can I just say I couldn't look them in the eye for weeks. Even now if that letter comes to mind, I can't look at them. Ew!

And once, back before digital cameras, my film got mixed up at the store and I got back pictures of someone I knew. Let's just say they should have been private. It was very uncomfortable, especially since she had been drinking and I don't think she knew they had been taken. I didn't know what to do with them, I couldn't return them to the store! I ended up just throwing them away.

That's all I can think of, but I know there is a lot more!