Awful But Functioning: Wah?

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Wah?

Thanks to Niobe and the previously's, I will attempt the 10 things "I Don't Get" meme. And by "attempt" I mean I will try and limit myself to only 10, and will exclude anything having to do with the current election cycle (well, almost) which will only incense my lovely readers.

I DON'T GET:

1. Literalists. As in the Bible, the Constitution, Adam Smith. Really? I mean, if you sit down with yourself, deep deep inside, you think every fucking little word is true? You think it applies equally to now as it did then? And conversely, that you can't apply the message to now as you couldn't then? I just don't think this gives the authors as much credit as they deserve, nor do I think it gives your brain as much credit as it may deserve.

2. Golf. If Tiger Woods had to hit the ball in the cup by avoiding the windmill AND getting tackled by three guys who weigh around 300 pounds, I might be interested.

3. Small Dogs. Of the "Toy" Breed varieties: Chihuahuas, terriers that weigh under 10 pounds, Pomeranians. There's a fine line between dog and rodent, and these cross it.

4. Wax Paper. Parchment? That I get. Wax? Not so much. Please inform.

5. Tom Hanks Lurve.

6. Uggs. (Caveat: if you live in Siberia or extreme polar climates, I totally get the need for enormous warm boots that go up to your knees. If you don't, I don't.)

7. Coin purses.

8. Caffeine Free Diet Coke.

9. Mark Rothko (but in a good way). (I think.)

10. Celebrity political endorsements.

12 comments:

Beruriah said...: Why are Uggs still around? And why are undergraduate girls wearing them with tights but no pants or skirts??

I don't get any of these things either.; February 7, 2008 at 8:31 AM
Lollipop Goldstein said...: I have to speak up for the caffeine free diet coke. I know it contains none of the things you'd drink a soda to imbibe--caffeine, sugar--but if you like it, you like it. And look at how I am in the morning, can you imagine if I also drank caffeine at night? I cut myself off around noon. So it's caffeine free diet coke in the evening. And...um...I like the taste. And it comes in a nice bronze bottle.; February 7, 2008 at 9:18 AM
Magpie said...: I confess to owning Ugg slippers - kind of like clogs. They rock. I would never own the knee high ones, much less wear them out of the house.

I always use waxed paper for wrapping up my pie crust. And for wrapping sandwiches. That's 'cause my mother always did.

The only Coke is the real thing, with sugar and caffeine, preferably in a can.; February 7, 2008 at 11:03 AM
meg said...: I enjoyed you list, and that fact that you found it hard to limit it to ten. I certainly could have come up with a hundred, no problem.

I am with you on the Ugg boots, even though I do own a pair (I know makes no sense). Mine are pink and I wear them around the house most of the time. Kinda like slippers.

I love a Coke from time to time, and when I do, it's real sugary coke.

I don't know what to do with parchment or wax paper...so can't help you there!

And I do like all dogs, but I know what you mean about the dog/rodent line.; February 7, 2008 at 12:12 PM
ms. G said...: Coin purses, Tash? How can you not understand these gems of the purse world? They do the thankless job of holding those mini items instead of them being stuck at the bootom of your bag. Chapstick, band aid, gum, small panty pad.....

I love the uggs comment. I guess I live in a climate where the perfect outfit for comfort is short skirt with bare legs, tank top, and Uggs, since I see that everywhere.; February 7, 2008 at 1:07 PM
Tash said...: Magpie: I was referring to the boots. Ugg slippers sound wonderfully sane and not unattractive.

Ms. G: I have a small bag, we'll call it a cosmetic bag, in which I keep that stuff in my purse. Sadly, it too winds up on the bottom, so usually I just quit looking for kleenex and wipe my daughter's nose on my sleeve, or give up on the lip gloss and decide it won't help much anyway. I'm referring to those tiny things that are like 2"x3". Which would totally sink to the bottom rendering the search for spare change or a place to put it fruitless.

Mel: I'm off searching for a reusable bronze drink container just for you.; February 7, 2008 at 1:37 PM
Missing_one said...: hehe.
I too don't get Caffeine Free Diet Coke....why don't you just drink water?
I drink diet coke when I want caffeine without the calories
thanks for the laugh!; February 7, 2008 at 6:17 PM
niobe said...: Don't go to my sister's place. You will be attacked by a large number of nasty-tempered rat-like creatures that she mistakenly believes are dogs.; February 7, 2008 at 7:37 PM
Antigone said...: But Chuck Norris likes Huckabee! That's enough for me to vote Republican right there.; February 8, 2008 at 1:25 PM
Bon said...: wax paper and Rothko i'm all over, and i did have a brief love affair with caffeine-free diet coke while i was bfing, until i realized that probably the aspartame was worse for O than the caffeine. duh.

but the rest? yeh, clearly you are a woman of discernment, as i too am baffled by 'em. ;); February 9, 2008 at 10:32 AM
Julia said...: #1? Right on!

Cultural ignoramus that I am, I only think I can guess what Uggs are from the descriptions here, but can't be sure.; February 9, 2008 at 6:04 PM
Hennifer said...: Love, love, loved your list! I adore Rothko and I do use a coin purse but love it!; February 11, 2008 at 4:52 PM