On Day Four, afternoon, Maddy was transferred to Children's. Into our rather large but in retrospect low-key NICU, embodied by our favorite Dr. Frumpy, strutted a gaggle of young, extremely attractive medical personnel decked out in matching, embroidered polar fleece pushing what appeared to be a tin foil covered microwave on wheels (the portable isolette). We stood rather amused by the whole bizarro Gray's Anatomy meets Grim Reaper scene, while I'm sure every other parent in the room swallowed their throats. Mr. ABF held Maddy, I filled out and signed a ream of legalese which I think simply gave permission to buckle Maddy in, and give her a blood transfusion should the need arise during the ambulance ride. Dr. R gave them the low-down on his most-peculiar patient. They loaded Maddy like a turkey into the oven, and wheeled her out, with us half-joking with the driver to please drive safely. (Like I'm sure he's never heard that one before.) They warned us, please, do not follow the ambulance too closely (there are probably some funny -- not ha-ha -- stories there), and we laughed and said we were going to stop at home in the interim. We peeled the pictures off her isolette, packed our books, and said our goodbyes.
That evening, Mr. ABF announced during Bella's bath that he was going to Children's to see Maddy and "get the lay of the land." I was still unable to drive (what the fuck is with that not driving for a week thing, anyway? Most inconvenient when your child is in the NICU people), and if I wanted to go, would have to get my dad or mother-in-law to drive me there after I put Bella to sleep. I was so fucking frustrated by this point at the back and forth of home and hospital that I snapped and began to cry. Mr. ABF asked if I was angry at him, and I waved my arms around the bathroom and said, "No. I'm angry at THIS."
He went. Spent most of his evening talking with suited specialists about the particulars of the pregnancy (just how long was that bleed? And she had amnio? And hello! She had a miscarriage??) and came home very late.
I had no idea how I was going to do this, live at two places, be a mom to two daughters in two places, split my time, split my emotions, remain sane, not erupt into anger at the schizophrenia of it all.