Wednesday, December 19, 2007

And a Craptastic New Year!

Yes, your eyes do not deceive you: those are indeed, "Merry Motherfucking Christmas!" cards. If only they sold Reindeer Roadkill stamps, I might've taken the plunge with these or some of my own making:

Hope your new year isn't nearly as shitty as our last!

Joy! (Not!)

Peace on Earth . . . at least, to everyone else but us.

From our family (minus one) to yours, hope your holidays aren't emotionally fraught

Here comes Santa Claus, and hey, is that a glass of bourbon in his hand? And why is he crying?

Baby's First Dead Christmas
[photo card, of course. Hmm, which to use: Maddy alive on respirator, or Maddy recently deceased?]

Friends and Family:

Wow, can you believe 2007 is almost over? Time for the banal generic holiday message that informs you how ridiculously cute, intelligent, witty, well traveled, and dead our children are! Let's get started!

We were most blessed this year to welcome into our family our beautiful new daughter, Bella's little sister, Maddy. Who then up and died. Whoops! Looks like we guessed wrong on last year's holiday cards, eh? Our bad.

So, um, lessee, February-March-April-May-June-July-August-September-October
-November were pretty much spent crying, going to therapy, checking out antidepressants (they work! I did get out of bed! Just don't ask me to remember you or where you live or who YOUR kids are, because I don't remember any of that like I don't remember what I ate for breakfast), going to therapy, staring at a pile of hospital crap related to our dead daughter, crying some more, trying to lose baby weight without a baby (totally fun!), trying to socialize without feeling like the Deadbabymommy in the room, more therapy, blogging about dead daughter, wondering what to do with ashes of dead daughter. Oh, and in July we went to the beach for a week.

Bella continues to astound us. Despite the fact that her mother was completely emotionally checked out, she managed to become potty trained. And while other children are learning about, oh, seasons, animals, and manners, Bella mastered the subject of death! Her giftedness on the subject really knows no bounds. We can't wait until she surprises her teachers and school chums with the information that her sister is d-e-a-d, dead! She started school in fall, which I'm sure is as much a relief to her as it is to me, and I finally have time to exercise again and try and lose this fucking weight. (Don't get excited, I ramped up too quickly, blew my plantar fascia, and am only now losing the weight that I lost, and then gained back.) She is cute though. And alive!

Tash's job was trying extremely hard to remain upright, not let Bella stick her unattended fingers into light sockets, and not to turn into an alcoholic drug-addicted trash heap (so far so good! Phew!). Mr. ABF's work has been stressful, unsupportive, and chaotic and that's without having to grieve as well. Fingers crossed for a bonus, y'all!

We'd send you a picture of the family, but couldn't decide how to decorate Maddy's box of ashes or who would hold it, so we gave up -- use your imaginations.

Hope your year wasn't as shit-tacular, and as for 2008, we can only hope it doesn't get any worse.


[handwritten comments:] The pictures of your kids? Wow! They're so big! They totally look like they came home from the hospital! And grew up! And are still alive! And when you said "Happy and Healthy," you were being facetious, right?


Which Box said...

It is possible to laugh and cry at the same time. This is fantastic. And horrible. And real.

Thanks for the laugh/cry. It's better than the straight crying.

Would you send me a private e-mail at I want to ask you a question, if you don't mind.

niobe said...

Love it. In, y'know, a sick sort of way. Somehow a dead baby seems to make all those cliches we trot out at this time of year pretty much meaningless.

carole said...

your letter is perfect. so perfect, in fact, i might plagiarize it.

i love your blog. thank you for being angry out loud.

and i'm so sorry that you have so much to be angry about.

--carole (fr v4.0)

meg said...

This is too good. I love it. But I hate that you have to write something like this on your deadbaby blog. I hate that you have a deadbaby blog. Period.

Those cards are the best. I wish I had the guts to send out something like that. Instead, I send nothing and hide and avoid the holidays.

Tash, I love the way you write. If I ever need a: "hey, my life blows chunks and here's why..." letter, I am so hitting you up for help in writing it. You write how I feel, but don't have the 'nads to write myself. I really DO need to grow a pair, one of these days. My in-laws could stand to hear a few things...maybe they need a merry freaking Christmas letter, all of their own?

Wabi said...

Love the cards in a seriously covetous sort of way, and was nodding "YES!" all the way through the letter, too.

Coggy said...

Your post reminded me of a joke Christmas card my friends received this year. On the front it reads 'This Christmas why don't you...
... just f*ck off!

I wish I'd sent them out.

OrchidLover said...

Wow. This is fabulous.

Julia said...

i am just catching up, but I wanted to tell you that this is perfect, in the raw and unceremonious way more than a few people could stand to be exposed to.
And it makes me glad nobody is expecting cards from us. Cause yeah...

Megan said...

I love it. LOVE IT. It's not too late to mail it.
My husband can't understand why I was so upset to receive the photo card from BIL and SIL with their healthy, LIVE toddler - and of course, invisible but there, the baby due in April, days away from the one I just lost. And inside, the breezy 'See you in 2008!'
Fuck you, too.
Hope your new year doesn't suck, Tash.

charmedgirl said...

i saw those cards over at alittlepreg. i love it!! you just stole the show, though, with your total genius shit IQ.

what's a shit IQ, you ask? i am finding shit intelligence hard to come by these days. kinda like seeing through shit, darkly. but funnily. hey, i totally reserve the right to make up words. all my real smarties are wrapped up in the shit now!

hey, seriously, that was great. it was like that last xmas gift i didn't even know i was missing till i got it.

and a merry xmas to you as well, from the mother-fucked!

Dayna said...

Best Christmas cards I've ever seen!