Dear any State Politician who thinks now is a good time to ram through some really assinine anti-IVF legislation claiming to be proactively warding off octoplets, but really fucking over potential parents everywhere and giving a big wet one to the pro-life contingency:
Am I in favor of octoplets? Well, in some abstract universe I suppose I find a line of puppies slurping from their mama curled up in a basket kinda cute. As for humans I'm happy they're all here safely, but I don't think anyone in their right mind (stress "right mind") thinks that being pregnant with eight babies is safe and prudent for mother and especially the children in question. The financial outcome I suppose is another concern in these trying times -- but really before we get in parents' biz, howsabout we get your own fucking State Legislators to pay their goddamn taxes? Hmmm?
Back to the point: I'm rather concerned that "politicians" (word used loosely) don't have the necessary reproductive chops to go messing with these medical issues. Let's go take a look at a few politicans in Georgia for kicks: the Senator who is introducing this nonsense lists his profession as "Investor." We also have an Orthodontist and a Grocer. Worthy and valued professions all, but NOT obstetricians or reproductive endocrinologists or anyone who might know about things reproductive. This is just a hunch. But an itch I'd love to scratch. I'd really like to see just how much these concerned citizens know before going and making laws curtailing Georgian Women's Bits and Pieces. Have you done your homework? Have you had some hearings and asked experts and professionals to explain these issues to you? I understand that we all can't be experts on the differences between Follistim and Gonal-F (Trick Question! There really is none!), and I do not claim to be an expert in budgets or deficits or things of an agricultural nature. I would think, though, if I held elected office and was asked to weigh on some of these incredibly important issues, I would take my sweet, sweet time doing some research and talking to people who DO know before weighing in with an opinion or -- gasp -- voting.
I think if you'd like to weigh on this bill and vote, that you must take the following quiz, and make your answers public with your name and picture attached. NO CHEATING! NO LOOKING THINGS UP ON YOUR IPHONE! NO FAIR IM'ING YOUR WIFE! TWITTER IS OUT! Pick up your pencils, and begin.
1) What does RE stand for?
2) What is an embryo?
3) What is a zygote? A blastocyst?
4) What does IVF stand for?
5) List two reasons why a woman might opt for IVF -- and no, "Being Angelina Jolie" or "Being a Really Disturbed Angelina Wannabe" are not valid answers.
6) Can you explain what happens procedurally during IVF? Please be specific. Extra credit will be given for knowledge of medications and their side effects and costs. Will give credit for original body-part euphemisms, but demand use of word "uterus." Feel free to make a table with corresponding calendar. (Hint: there is enough information here to actually fill a table.)
7) Please define the following and place them roughly on a pencil drawing of the human body:
-- corpus luteum cyst
8) What does IVF cost? With/without insurance?
9) Does an RE "transfer" or "implant" embryos, and what in your mind is the difference?
10) Does every IVF end in pregnancy?
11) What must happen biologically after transfer for a woman to become pregnant?
12) What are the current odds of a successful IVF? Same question, but for a woman over 40? (Answers within 10% acceptable)
13) Can you think of any medical reasons why a woman might transfer more than 1-2 embryos? "Shits and Giggles" is not a valid answer.
14) When can a woman get pregnant? How does this happen for a woman undergoing IVF?
15) What hormone does a pregnancy test actually test for?
16) If you transfer a blastocyst, and the test comes back negative, have you just committed murder?
17) If you and your wife create an embryo the old fashioned way (sketches and diagrams not necessary) and the test comes back negative, have you just committed murder?
18) what is a miscarriage?
19) Compare/Contrast IVF with FET.
b) What is FET?
-- What is procedurally different?
-- What is monetarily different?
c) extra credit: What is IUI? How is it possible that more multiples could be produced from this than IVF? (Hint: IT COULD!)
20) Do you know anyone personally who has undergone IVF?
Want to know more about the proposed bill and what you can do? Go visit Mel or Julie.