4: Number of sides people brought. THAT NEEDED COOKED FROM SCRATCH. (Note to self: it is actually easier to prepare everything than it is to lose control of timing due to everyone's side dishes. Even if your kitchen is only 70% complete. Even though you now have two ovens and a warming drawer. Either do it yourself next time, or make sure what is contributed is already cooked.)
60: minutes that my turkey finished ahead of schedule. Unfrozen free range always cooks faster, but this one was so effin' big -- even I was surprised. And then side dish hilarity ensued.
12: Obama voters. (4 guests under the age of 18.) No political outbursts. Phew.
2: Awkward moments at dinner. Midway through dinner, a good 2.5 hours into the afternoon, one guest finally realizes who the fuck my FIL is and why he's there. D'oh. Mr. ABF swore he did that introduction. Bella passes out plastic bees from her new game, and my grandmother mistakes it for a candy and damn near chews and swallows it before I realize what's going on.
1: Fight. Between my aunt and my mother. I just put my head down and listened to the bullets fly.
5: Hours of sleep Thursday night thanks to Bella's cough attack.
2: number of times Bella has thrown up since Wednesday from coughing so hard.
Infinite: number of times I have cursed the passing of Robitussin as a viable pharmaceutical option since Wednesday.
8: dollars per person paid to enter Christmas fair, which we then walked out of 10 minutes later when Bella threatened to throw up while coughing, again.
Thousands: leaves in my yard that need raked. Right now.
4: number of times Mr. ABF swore he had the phone in his hand to call his mom Thursday morning, but always got distracted and busy. She freaked out that he didn't call (he reminded her that she could've called him, to which she replied, "I can't call you").
0: seconds following Mr. ABF asking if his mother would like to come for Christmas before she responded, "No."
2: relatives who asked, without prompting, if they could attend the candlelight service at Children's next month with us.
363: number of children whose names will be read at this year's service.
15: days until the service. Some people count down days 'til Christmas; some . . . don't. Check it out in the side bar.