Monday, August 25, 2008

Lessons Circa Four

Bella: Let's play the dolls are dead.
Me: Are you sure? You don't want to play that they're very sick?
Bella: No, dead. You be the doctor.
Me: Um, ok.
Bella: (places dolls lying down on pillow)
Me: (in very serious voice) So Bella, why are you here today?
Bella: They're dead.
Me: Oh, I'm so sorry.

(Long pause as she studies dolls.)

Bella: This is not a very fun game.
Me: No, no it's not.

Me: Come here. (Hugs Bella.) You know, we can talk about being dead any time you want, ok? It's ok to talk about.
Bella: Ok.


Me: Wow, your nails are long, let's them cut them.
Bella: No! I like them long!
Me: Why? (anticipating some answer about some hot-chick's long nails that she espied)
Bella: I can pick my nose better with them long.


k@lakly said...

It's amazing the way their brains work isn't it? And when they give you a peek into whats inside it can be downright heartbreaking. And then utterly hilarious.
I wish I had some brilliant words on how to handle the death conversation but it seems you did it beautifully, I am usually stuck in the heaadlights after one of those comments, breathless. A good hug and some tears usually do the trick tho.
The fingernails, ah yes, very smart that girl, it's all about utility and execution, right? Gotta pick myself up off the floor now, thanks for the early morning giggle:)

Aunt Becky said...

Kids shock and amaze me, too. Wow. Just. Wow.

luna said...

quite a girl you have there.

janis said...

I have to admit I hate it when they play that their toys are DEAD, or DYING. Even though I know it's their way of processing, and attempting to gain power... it still breaks me heart, and makes me tear up to read such things.

I agree, a bit of fingernail is helpful for nose-picking.

Sara said...

Ah, man. Not a fun game. But I think you handled it beautifully. I suppose she has to take discussing death at her own pace.

The nose-picking thing though? Love it.

sweetsalty kate said...

sigh... bless her. unfun indeed. All a part of processing, as everyone has said. What else can you do but administer hugs and keep that door open?

G$ said...

That is a very wise child you have there.

Tell her that's why a lot of ladies get fake nails put on. :)

loribeth said...

You made me cry. (Then you made me laugh.)

Anonymous said...
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MsPrufrock said...

Hey, the kid's on to something there! I have short fingernails, so make of that what you will.

CLC said...

Wow, it's amazing how kids' minds work. She seems like quite a girl!

Natalie said...

SNORT. Oh the nosepicking. Too funny.

I don't know how I'd handle a kid playing the dolls are dead. I'm not sure *I* could handle that one.

Anonymous said...

You handle things wonderfully.

Which Box said...

I think we have a lot to learn from our kids.

niobe said...

I'm not very good at laughing and crying at the same time. You have a brilliant little girl there.

Martin said...

This really is one of those "I dunno what to say moments"

Beautiful & sad at once.

noswimmers said...

Ok...I was all sad & then I got to the last statement...LOL! Now THAT is a practical reason for having long nails!

Cara said...

I lost my first and have gone on to have two more beautiful girls. Bear (my five year old) has wildly intricicate imagination play times where death is a running theme. I struggle with 1) letting her get it out in her own way but 2) not asking any leading questions or making it "too real" for her. She knows about her sister and she knows she's dead, or as she puts it, "lives in heaven with Jesus". We celebrate Emma Grace, in fact, Monday is her birthday. So, we are talking about more than a typical month...but still hearing your earthly children speak so 'matter of factly' about death is never easy.
The most amazing part is how we give so much mental thought to it all day long, disecting and wonder how and where it came from, and they let it go in the next twenty mintues and re-focus on ...well...fingernails!
Just loving them is such fun!

Antigone said...

But it's so hard to text message with long ones.