Monday, April 20, 2009


4/12, circa 6:00 a.m.
(scene: watching kids run around on airport play yard, chitchattin' "so where ya goin', blahblahblahbalah")

Airport Woman: "I just found out my husband of 15 years is having an affair."
Me: "Oh Shit, I'm so, so sorry."

(Do I have a "Talk to me, I totally get your shit" neon sign on my forehead?!)


4/12, post Philly-to-Chicago leg, listening to "Doors Closing" announcement on 8-hour Chicago-Honolulu leg

Me: Do you have the DVD player?
Mr. ABF: I thought you had the DVD player.


4/12, 40 minutes into flight

Me: Can I hold him for you?

(Aisle-mate was a woman flying alone with a six-month old; woman developed a nose-bleed on ascent. And this is how I came to hold my first baby since Maddy. It didn't crush me. It wasn't nirvana, either.)


4/14, circa 8:00 a.m.

Me: What are they doing?
Mr. ABF: Oh, it's Tuesday. They're renewing their vows on the beach.
Me: (avec dripping sarcasm) Do you want to renew our vows?
Mr. ABF: No, but I'll buy you a beer.


4/14, 5:00 a.m.

Bella: My ear hurts.

(9:30 a.m.) Bella: My ear hurts.

(1:30, feverish, whining) Bella: My ear hurts.

(Found local clinic, massive ear infection. Smoothies and tv in the hotel.)


4/16, circa 9:00 a.m.

Bella: They're going to take a picture of our family, dad. Of everyone in our family. Of everyone in our family who is alive.


4/17, circa 2:30 p.m. (Bella has just made friends with the five-year-old girl whose family is camped out next to ours on the beach. They're going through general family introductions with each other.)

Bella: I have a sister, but she died.
Beach Girl: YOUR SISTER DIED??!!
Bella: Yes. Her name was Maddalena.
Beach Girl: Who killed her?


4/19, 5:00 a.m. (Both cell phones have just gone ringing and beeping)

Me: What's up?
My Brother: Dad had a heart attack.

(Turns out a rather bad one, but caught in a most-timely fashion. Still in hospital, but out of ICU, and recovery looks good.)


4/20, 11:00 a.m. Philly time

Mr. ABF: So you think you'll deliver our luggage to our house this afternoon?


I so need a vacation, yo. Mahalo!


Melissa said...

O.M.G. Wow. Yes, I'd say you need a vacation. Hell, I need one myself after reading all you've been through on the vacation. :) Hugs from one Philly girl to another.

Michele said...

You need a vacation from your vacation! :)

On a note, I hate flying into or out of PHL. I know part of it is the distance (we are in Montgomery County, so it's about 40m) but it just seems like a bad layout!

G$ said...

lol, vacations tend to turn out that way for me too. Most of the time I say, well I would rather it [insert life shitting on me event] while on vacation, than be at work... uh, sure.

Sorry about your dad. I hope he recovers quickly.


Mrs. Spit said...

Ugh. That really sucks rocks.

Val said...

Well, I hope you got your beer, at least ;-)!
Best wishes for an uneventful recovery for your dad...

Cliff Evans said...

So when do you get to take a vacation from your vacation?

k@lakly said...

Geez, who needs a vacation when you can stay home and have life suck where the booze is cheap(er).

Holding good healing heart thoughts for your dad. Glad Bella is feeling better. Did the other parents crumble into heaps of sand when their daughter asked who killed Maddy? I would have.

Hope's Mama said...

Holy shit, I don't know where to start with this. But I hope your dad is ok and that he makes a speedy recovery. Put your feet up for a while Tash. Get Mr ABF to bring you a stiff drink!

erica said...

Damn, that better have been one very fine beer. Hoping your dad is okay and that the re-entry into non-'vacation' life is gentle.

moplans said...

Also hoping Mr ABF bought you many drinks.

Aunt Becky said...

Jesus H. You poor dear.

Two things:

1) I have a "tell me your craziest confession" button on my forehead. I want it surgically removed.

2) I hope that your dad is okay. My dad had one two(!?!?) years ago and I remember that fear.

Oh, and I'll send you some Vicodin. Seems like the least I can do.

Tash said...

To all of you re: beer: Should probably find time to do a travelogue of sorts, but seriously the highlight for The Mr. and me was discovering Kona Beer. If you like beer, and ever have the opportunity, you gotta check this stuff out. My favorite was the porter made with Kona coffee. The Pale Ale was a very close second. My husband obviously knows the express route to my heart.

K@l: Her family was sitting a distance away at that point. No idea if she ran to report on the information later.

caitsmom said...

Oh, dear. I know that sign, mine says, "Tell me how bad it is." I would like it removed. I could only laugh at the exchange between Bella and Beach girl. I didn't know what else to do. Adults say stupid things like "in a better place" and children ask honest Qs. Oh, dear.


missing_one said...

LOL! Classic family vacay! Thanks for the laughs!

Brenna said...

Holy crap! That's quite a lot to take in. Welcome home.

Natalie said...

Oh my... yes. I'd say you need a vacation from the vacation!

niobe said...


Hope your father's recovery continues to go well.

MsPrufrock said...

See, this is why I hate vacations. They're never as vacation-ey as you would hope. My favourite part of most vacations is coming home. I'm such a grumpy cow!

I'm pleased to hear your Dad is doing better - that's just the kind of news you needed, isn't it?

loribeth said...

Yep, I'd say a vacation from the vacation is in order!

Sorry about your dad. :( That's the kind of news you never want to hear, but on a vacation, it s@cks doubly. I hope he continues to recover quickly.

Azaera said...

Wow. That sounds like one rough vacation.

Hennifer said...

WOW! Love the format, sorry to hear some of the details.

Hoping the warm beach did you more good than bad!

You were missed.

Betty M said...

Sorry about your dad - hope he continues to be on the mend. Hope the weather was as good as the beer even if some of the res requires more holiday.

Which Box said...

Welcome back. Hope your dad continues to recover smoothly. And yes, maybe another beer or two or four, or quite possibly something stronger?

JW Moxie said...

Well, shit. Who needs a vacation? You can get all that dumped on you in the comforts of your own home. At least there's easy access to booze and you don't have to worry about dripping snot on the stranger next to you.

Up from here for all of you, especially your dad.

charmedgirl said...

are you fucking KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!?

i really hope your dad is ok.

i can't believe how many things that was...really.

and yeah, strangers totally tell me everything, too. it's sometimes fun, too often really weird.

CLC said...

Wow, I don't know where to start. First, I hope your dad is ok. What awful news to get on vacation.
Second, PHL always loses my luggage too.
Third, I am glad Bella tells people about Maddy, despite their surprise. Kids are just so honest and carefree when it comes to what they are thinking.
Hope she is feeling better too.

Kathy said...

Welcome back! :) You certainly had an eventful vacation... I really enjoyed the creative way you wrote about it.

So sorry to hear about your dad's heart attack and Bella's ear infection. (((HUGS))) I will keep them and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Sean tends to be very open with strangers about Molly too and it always amazes me. I am sure it makes them uncomfortable at times, but so be it.

That beer sounds great (as I do have a thing for beer, especially microbrews and such)! I look forward to trying it sometime. thanks for the tip! :)

Life in Eden said...

That was an eventful trip, sorry for all the road blocks! My dad had quad by-pass last Feb. Early recovery can be a bit rough, but now he is brand new (for 75). Hope your dad's time is smooth as can be.

Danny, Julie, Jack and Mari said...

What a shit show! I'm so sorry your getaway was anything but. Mr ABF better have gotten you that beer!

As much as it sucks, it's nice to hear that my kids aren't the only ones who start introductions with, "...but he died."

Anonymous said...

Sounds exhausting!

luna said...

geez, tash. you packed some punches here. hope you and your dad are ok.

dave cormier said...

dude, you make it so clear. no matter where you go, there you are.

hope your dad is doing okay. and hope that beer Mr.ABF bought was delicious.

Bon said...

oops. that last one was me. using Dave's computer.

and i read the comments and am pleased to hear about the beer. Kona, huh? hmmm.

Gretchen said...

Wow. Glad you recorded these:/. I recently returned from vacation too and was somehow able to avoid holding other peoples' babies. And fortunately, C.T. is too young to make random friends who will ask who killed his brother. Sounds like a real doozy of a trip. I hope your dad recovers well. Welcome home.

Anonymous said...

I hope your dad is okay - that is definitely not something you want to deal with on vacation. Maybe you guys can take another, more relaxing one. :-) Though Hawaii is one of my favorite places. Next time I go I'm not leaving!